Emotion Control = Evolution of Man

Having control of our emotions takes practice like everything else. The more we practice the better we get. How I practice is by letting go of all my concerns, trusting Life will always direct me to things better than my present understanding of what I think I want. Here detachment occurs and I am liberated from fear. With fear absent an abundance of mental energy is freed up. I use this energy to constantly pay attention to how I feel throughout the day. When I'm feeling light, content, happy, anything positive, I know I'm improving. 

When I feel tension, concern, anything negative start to creep in (this is where the practice comes to play) I direct my thoughts to anything that feels better than what I'm currently thinking. And I mean anything. It doesn't have to be related and most of the time it isn't. If you believe that Life Delivers To You Whatever You Consistently Focus On, and accept the truism that Everything We Want, We Want Because We Think We Will FEEL Better In The Having Of It, then the only reasonable course of action is to focus on things that Feel good. 

So by redirecting my focus from something that doesn't feel good to something that does, I am now controlling the direction of my emotions. If I already feel good but want to feel great, enthusiastic, and inspired then I will gradually shift my attention from my starting point of feeling good to something that feels closer to my end point. I'll keep thinking thoughts that are in the direction of my end point until I achieve an emotional(sometimes even bodily) response. There I know I've increased my level of emotion and can then think thoughts that are closer still to my end point. Within moments to minutes I am feeling inspired and passionate. With practice this becomes easier to do with less focus.

Two important notes:

1. When I realize I'm feeling less than I'd like to and so begin shifting my attention, I don't reach for the best of the best thought but instead a thought that FEELS better relative to what I'm already thinking. Intuitively it makes sense to want to feel great if you feel bad. But our minds usually don't suddenly change from not so good to outstanding. We need a gradual shift. Almost like coaxing our minds bit by bit to better feelings. Tame that beast! With gentleness. 

2. To get to a place of detachment, it can be difficult if our untamed minds are over active with concerns and jumping from one thought to another uncontrollably (which was the case for me when I started this work). The quickest and easiest way to get a handle on our minds is by getting into a comfy position in a quiet place, sit still, close our eyes, breathe naturally, and keep redirecting our attention to our breath or simply stated, meditating. The more we do this the quieter and controllable our minds become. Once we have a handle of quieting our mind, directing thoughts become a thousand times easier. 

Summary: 

To control our emotions we let go of concerns, trust in Life, pay attention to how we feel, all day focus on things that feel good and when we catch our minds drifting to negativity redirect our thoughts to better feeling ones(gradual shifts), repeat at every opportunity. 

If directing thoughts is difficult, learn to quiet the mind. Quieting our minds is easiest through meditating. Google meditation for techniques that work for you! 

If you're wondering why put in all the effort to control our emotions answer this: Why do I want to do, be, and have all the things I desire? If you can get to the bottom most reason as to why then you'll understand.  

Happiness = controlled thoughts

“You must learn to let go of your fears and insecurities, and instead let your emotions remain within your control, rather than dictating your actions or reactions”*

I can control my emotions by controlling my thoughts. 

Emotions = thoughts + feelings**

*Excerpt From: Entourage, Secret. “Third Circle Theory: Purpose Through Observation.” 

**Independent. Remains constant. We will always feel for things and circumstances. Cannot cut feeling from life: unhealthy, inhuman. 

Intentional Association is a Key to Happiness

We are beginning to develop a sense(not just an understanding) that the reality of our emotions are not based, fed, or sourced from our experience. 

Our happiness and our sorrow are not caused by successes and failures. 

These experiences virtually have no influence on our emotions except for the feelings we've allowed(however unaware) ourselves to habitually associate them with over the years. 

It's not what happens to us that shapes our feelings.

It's how we choose to shape our feelings to what happens to us.

This determines our emotions, and then our attitudes(which are habitual emotions), our character(habitual attitudes), and ultimately our Life(summation of our character and our behavior).  

Implied method:

Change how we associate feelings to experience = change our lives

Change is Ecstasy (personal formulas that help me facilitate transformation)

Change-verb. defined by me as:

to step into a different reality and leave the less useful one behind. 

Dictionary-

Change: 

1. to transform or convert.

Transform: 

1.  to change in form, appearance, or   

     structure; metamorphose. 

2. to change in condition, nature, or character; convert. 
3. to change into another substance; transmute.

How to create change?

One way is to look at your life from an outside or macroscopic view. To step back and take into consideration everything you notice - both pleasurable and not. 

Then ask yourself: 

What does my life feel like to me?

What are my main concerns?

What are my main appreciations. 

What would I like to Change?

What would I like to keep the same?

If there are things you'd like to change,

Ask yourself, "Is my life reflecting my desires for change?" 

If you took the time to earnestly ask yourself this question you may be surprised at the answer. But don't feel bad! Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, does it. 

It's one of the great mysteries of humanity. We've always done it. From thousands of years ago,

"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate."

Romans 7:15 ESV

up until this morning when I wanted to write as soon as I woke but "forgot" and made breakfast instead. 

This tendency to avoid what we want to do for ourselves is the greatest source of angst within us. And at the same time, if we overcome it, is the ultimate source for personal growth which manifests in our life experience as Confidence, Integrity, and Inner Peace. 

In my reflections I wonder at this joy-giving, anxiety-producing phenomena. A double edged sword. One side slices through indifference and reveals the power and light of our being. The other side cutting off our connection to joy and breeds emotional scabs that block our light from shining. 

The beauty of life is you don't need to search for help: you're help is already in your hands. 

Turn the blade over and begin doing what you Want. Change yourself from the Inside out. Transform. 

We are all in this world to raise the lives of others through our own transformation. I've been fortunate to have time on my side when I needed to "search" for answers. I've received so much help from people who've already traveled this part of Life's path and took time from their lives and family to share with others what helped them. Through books, talks, music, interaction, and art I was provided guidance. Guidance but not answers. For all that I learned was redirections into myself. Where the answers already lay. 

My gratitude can only be expressed through the continuation of empowering others. So here are the answers I've found within myself. If they do nothing except point your focus back into yourself then my efforts are rewarded. 

In life there are 3 formulas we can all follow. These formulas have been around even before man. But with Life and all Its humor, we are not tattooed with the formulas upon birth and instead are encouraged to go on a human adventure to discover these special formulas and apply the one that works for us. 

Formula 1: 

(Life is good) x (no changes) = 

Keep doing what you're doing

Formula 2:

(Life is not good) x (create changes) = Keep applying changes for good life

Formula 3:

(Life is not good) x (no changes) = 

Keep getting what you're getting 

All common sense. But the incredible things is that it's too common — too simple. 

Now there are books upon seminars upon workshops that teach the ins and outs of change. Though extremely informative and useful to become a master at the subject, the best course is always to begin with the basic fundamentals and work from there.

I believe the reason many of us don't begin with the basics is because it's so basic that we assume we're already doing it. Let's not make that mistake. 

Let's look into ourselves with honesty and pull out from our depths what we truly want. Then align our beliefs to those wants. Our behavior will follow.  

"It's never too late to be who you might have been."

George Eliot 

Take a chance on People

take a chance on people

friends and strangers

treat them as if you already accept everything about them 

and watch how they transform before your very eyes 

rewarding you with their smiles and humanity

-B.C.

When two people engage, majority of the time both are wondering if they are making good impressions.

This distracting concern will only pull you further away from connection and fellowship. 

Instead look into their eyes with a smile that spreads from your lips to your heart. Simply listen to them. See every word as it floats into the space between you two. In this way you can not miss the precious present moment which is the Only Real Thing you can share with someone else. 

Remember : 

People don't converse to listen, they converse to be listened to. Try listening twice as long as you speak and you will not only get to know the other person deeper, but will learn more about yourself; which, according to the wisest men in history, is the most valuable thing one can Pursue in life.