When I feel tension, concern, anything negative start to creep in (this is where the practice comes to play) I direct my thoughts to anything that feels better than what I'm currently thinking. And I mean anything. It doesn't have to be related and most of the time it isn't. If you believe that Life Delivers To You Whatever You Consistently Focus On, and accept the truism that Everything We Want, We Want Because We Think We Will FEEL Better In The Having Of It, then the only reasonable course of action is to focus on things that Feel good.
So by redirecting my focus from something that doesn't feel good to something that does, I am now controlling the direction of my emotions. If I already feel good but want to feel great, enthusiastic, and inspired then I will gradually shift my attention from my starting point of feeling good to something that feels closer to my end point. I'll keep thinking thoughts that are in the direction of my end point until I achieve an emotional(sometimes even bodily) response. There I know I've increased my level of emotion and can then think thoughts that are closer still to my end point. Within moments to minutes I am feeling inspired and passionate. With practice this becomes easier to do with less focus.
Two important notes:
1. When I realize I'm feeling less than I'd like to and so begin shifting my attention, I don't reach for the best of the best thought but instead a thought that FEELS better relative to what I'm already thinking. Intuitively it makes sense to want to feel great if you feel bad. But our minds usually don't suddenly change from not so good to outstanding. We need a gradual shift. Almost like coaxing our minds bit by bit to better feelings. Tame that beast! With gentleness.
2. To get to a place of detachment, it can be difficult if our untamed minds are over active with concerns and jumping from one thought to another uncontrollably (which was the case for me when I started this work). The quickest and easiest way to get a handle on our minds is by getting into a comfy position in a quiet place, sit still, close our eyes, breathe naturally, and keep redirecting our attention to our breath or simply stated, meditating. The more we do this the quieter and controllable our minds become. Once we have a handle of quieting our mind, directing thoughts become a thousand times easier.
Summary:
To control our emotions we let go of concerns, trust in Life, pay attention to how we feel, all day focus on things that feel good and when we catch our minds drifting to negativity redirect our thoughts to better feeling ones(gradual shifts), repeat at every opportunity.
If directing thoughts is difficult, learn to quiet the mind. Quieting our minds is easiest through meditating. Google meditation for techniques that work for you!
If you're wondering why put in all the effort to control our emotions answer this: Why do I want to do, be, and have all the things I desire? If you can get to the bottom most reason as to why then you'll understand.
