Our Bodies are separate Beings

What if the human body is an independent being in and of itself?

As in it is separate from us, from our consciousness.

Like a horse and rider

Our bodies are our horse.

Just more closely interwoven

And when not provided adequate necessities, our bodies, and subsequently we, experience discomforts, disease.

Because we are in control of the body, we decide how we eat, sleep, live, think, act - we can get out of balance.

And the body can fall into a constant state of discomfort, or chronic anxiety.

So then we diagnose ourselves with having anxiety, and the myriad of downstream pathologies of mind and body which we strive to comfort in vain.

When in fact it is our horse, our vehicle, which is stressed.

And by simply giving it the necessities it needs as well as reducing negative influencers on it we may calm our vessels and in turn experience a calmer state of being.

When our bodies are in a constant state of anxiety, the nervous system seems hyperactive, as if it's hyper-aware. Likely to identify further potential threats for self preservation.

Everything is too much and we(our bodies that our consciousness identifies with) become irritable.

I'm finding by being still, closing my eyes, relaxing all of me, letting my thoughts float by, and most importantly allow my natural unemployed breaths to recommence and drive my breathing while appreciating the primal ability to breathe at all, that I gradually begin to feel calmer, lighter, more relaxed, and with small bursts of enthusiasm for life and inspiration for ideas.

I will continue experimenting with this concept and with what I for simplicity's sake refer to as Ease Breathing.

My body is a sentient vehicle that I command. I calm it by relaxing and breathing naturally. And it will re-calibrate to its optimal setting.

Setting fire to my mind with joyful imagination and my heart with loving appreciation.

CASE STUDY:

A dear friend's mushroom experience:

At the peak of her trip, she went to the bathtub, laid there, looked down at her body, felt remorse and wept for taking her body for granted. For not loving her body as it is. For not appreciating it for all that it had done for her. Like she abandoned it.

Implication:

Supported by the organic experience and not predetermining the trip with any discourse about the body, thus furthering the hypothesis that the body is its own being.

Acceptance pt.2

Resistance = perpetuates present condition 

Acceptance = changes present condition

Irony is, if you try to change the present condition without first accepting it you perpetuate the condition. 

But if you don't resist the condition from perpetuating, then it will eventually change. 

Why does this happen?

By resisting the condition we focus on it, hone our attention to it.

And since Energy Flows Where Attention Goes, we're adding more energy to the condition thus preserving it. 

Now when we accept the condition, by allowing it part of our experience in the present moment, we no longer push against it. We allow it to be, and so our attention is freed to focus elsewhere, adding energy to whatever it is we're now focusing on. 

You'll know for certain if you're accepting a condition by the feeling of relief, freedom, detachment, peace, and/or an increase in mood. 

Like all things, to be good at this requires practice. So be patient with yourself. Because if you aren't and grow irritated with your progress or seeming lack of, you're back to resisting lol. Accept where you are. Accept where your life is. Accept where the world is. Accept Accept Accept. 

Acceptance

Acceptance of your circumstances liquefies you, makes you like water. Allows you to mold into the current shape of your life and so releasing resistance to what is. 

Thus freeing up attention allowing you to shift your State of Being. 

Shifting to a better emotional state which will then reflect better circumstances.

If you try to shift your state of being before accepting what is, you will be alternating between wanting something and pushing against something else. 

Law of Attraction states where attention flows, energy goes. 

So if your attention is consistently switching between what you want and what you don't want, it's like trying to drive somewhere by pushing on the gas and then the brake and then the gas and then the brake. It's exhausting and barely goes anywhere. 

Acceptance is taking the foot off the brake. 

SUPER POWER: Instant Regeneration Technique- Relaxation

There's a definite line between breathing and relaxing. 

You can do a breathing exercise of a hundred controlled breaths. But if you're not any more relaxed after it then all you did was breathe a hundred times. I know. I've done it. 

You can relax on your exhales but not your inhales. In that case you're just taking a step forward and then a step back. Done that too. 

Interestingly relaxation doesn't actually depend on breath. It's possible to relax when holding your breath, or even upside down, or during a physically active task. 

In all cases it's clear that breath without relaxation is idle. And further, relaxation IS the goal of breath. 

It's a very subtle thing, relaxation. 

Doing this thing that requires the absence of effort. 

Almost paradoxical. 

It's the letting go. 

When you've quieted your mind to the point where you can feel slight changes in the body, try letting go. 

As if you're standing and you close your eyes and fall back. 

If you did it successfully you will feel a slight release somewhere within the body and a correlating emotional sense of relief.

You may feel the release in your chest, your belly, your face, around your eyes, around your nose, your brow, neck, back, shoulders, groin, legs, feet, anywhere. 

Try building up that act of release. 

I find attaching it to my inhale and exhale produces a compounding effect. 

After a few minutes of successful relaxation you will feel physically more energetic as is you've gotten a full nights rest. You'll also feel physically limber as if you've been stretching for an hour. As well as physically stronger. 

Mentally, you'll notice a significant increase in processing. An elevated feeling of clarity. Along with a boost of positive energy. 

You can do this anytime of day and with a bit of practice anywhere too. One of my favorite places is on my commute in the NY subways, sitting or standing. I've also utilized this in getting me through 19 hour jobs with only a few hours of sleep the night before due to being extra social ;)

You can do it multiple times a day for extra boosts. 

It's like taking a coffee break or energy drink without the side effects and you're actually addressing the cause of tiredness, which is simply the accumulation of tension over the course of the day. 

You'll find that the less sleep you go on the easier and faster it is for the body and mind to get tired again after relaxing. So use it for when you need it and by all means if you need to get through an entire night without sleep go for it, but eventually give in to what the body needs and get a full nights rest. 

Which will increase the effectiveness of relaxation for the next time. 

Things get really cool when you can relax while doing things. That is what I believe the Masters at whatever subjects are able to do. They've repeated their act so many times that they are completely relaxed during it. And so can do it with all their attention i.e. excellence. And can get imaginative during the act i.e. creative. 

That's the goal. 

To be a Master of Life. 

Namaste Bitches 🙏

Breath

A belief that my life up until this very moment has helped culminate, which before this present moment I did not have the clarity to formulate into concise verbiage, has managed to conglomerate within the vast abyss of my mind, into a manageable sentence. Perhaps it is still too verbose, but my enthusiasm for its newly born comprehensible form betrays my better senses to sustain until polished. 

So, without getting into details or explanations, yet, here it is:

The quality of your life; physical, emotional, mental, and beyond; is directly proportionate to the consistency of depth and length of your natural, unemployed breaths throughout all your conscious moments. 

P.S. I want to live here. 

A letter for you

Dear friend, 

I want to tell you about a time in my life when I felt completely stuck. Feeling helpless and fundamentally flawed. In a limbo of knowing but not experiencing. Interestingly it came about after some wonderful realizations about life. Insights that I thought would take me to where I want to be. But I was missing something. I want to share that here with you. 

I reached a point where I understood that what other people do isn't a reflection of me but of them. On top of that I recognized I, and I alone, attract every experience in my life, good and bad, by my vibrational attitude I daily emit. So when unpleasant things would happen to me I wouldn't get upset at others or the circumstances, but at myself. "I attracted this in some way, so the fault lies with me", I'd say to myself. 

In a way this insight was worse than before I understood these things, because back then at least I felt a sense of innocence and righteousness. But after the realizations I just constantly felt guilty. Guilty that I was still attracting unwanted things, that I should be better at this; that I know too much to be anxious, self-conscious, afraid. 

It wasn't until almost two years later that I realized the grace I was giving to others I wasn't extending to myself. What changed for me was finally letting go of what I thought I should be, do, have, and accepting my "mishaps" and my "flaws." Just doing this has given me the wonderful sense of knowing who I am and knowing what I want. Which fuels a sense of worthiness and confidence I've never before experienced. 

And so my hope with this post is that it helps you realize that we are all innocent — you included. 

You are doing the best you can, and so is everyone else in their own world. You are enough, you can be, do, have, whatever it is you want. You just simply have to let go of the word "should", and lovingly believe in yourself. Accept you for all of you. It sounds easy, and it is, but we put so many conditions in our way that not until they are fulfilled will we finally accept ourselves. But you can't accept yourself in the future, you can only do it now. If you keep delaying accepting yourself, waiting to achieve this or acquire that, you will always find things to put in front of you before you allow you to accept yourself. 

I'm telling you, you can do this right now. It takes trust in The Universe, God, Life, to let go of trying to control the things in your life in order to get what you want. It takes closing your eyes and falling backwards trusting that Life will not only catch you, but wrap Its arms around you with peace of mind and abundance of all you need and want. 

If you can do this now, wonderful. If not now, it just means you don't yet want to trust that Life will always provide a way, that's ok. 

Once you do let go of control and accept yourself, there is a chance you will wake tomorrow and feel like your old self, but that's just old patterns of thinking. It takes a little bit of time and focus to shift things that have been running on the same neural paths for years. But you'll be surprised at how fast your thoughts will begin to feel like they are on your side again. Yes, you will have days when you just can't seem to change the negativity around – that's ok. It's all part of the process. Keep letting go, keep trusting in Life, keep refocusing on things of positivity. 

As long as your peace comes from your trust in Life and not external circumstances, you will feel invincible. You will want to take score and look at your external life to see if it's bearing the fruit you think it should, but do your best not to. Keep practicing unconditionally trusting that Life always works out for you. And very soon your life will transform to where everything around you supports your feelings of well being and blessings. 

People will become attracted to you in more ways than you can understand right now. Opportunities to make your dreams come true will keep "coincidently" popping up in your days. Your idea of who you are and where you're going will become more and more clear. Your worries will fade until they are distant memories that you deliberately choose not to visit. You will finally feel a sense of Home that you haven't felt since the 90's or childhood. Life will feel right again. 

All because you chose not to delay a day longer and finally, once and for all, wholly and truly accept yourself, and practiced every moment of everyday accepting yourself. Until eventually you fall in love with yourself. And when that happens you simultaneously fall in love with everyone in the world and everything. Love becomes everything. And everything can be seen in the framework of different degrees of love. Love is now the language you speak and you understand events and people as phenomena of love. 

Like how the scientists know there is no actual source of "cold" but rather an absence of heat. And "darkness" is only lack of light. As that with love, all is love. You will see there are degrees of how much love is being allowed to flow in every given circumstance. And anything that feels bad isn't actually bad, but just needs more love. People will become like innocent children in your eyes and blame and criticism will feel completely pointless. You will treat yourself the same way, and when you are on your side, the whole world can't stop you. And in fact, the whole world will conspire to help you. Because the world is waiting for you to believe in yourself. 

You can do it. 

Let go of control.

Trust in Life. 

Accept yourself completely. 

Practice every moment in lovingly accepting yourself. 

Be easy with yourself on bad days when you can't seem to shake it off. 

Keep practicing. 

Watch your life transform. 

I believe in you. 

Now it's time you do. 

Love,

Bart

Nature

I find that Nature hardens the exterior of humans and softens the interior. 

Civilization softens the exterior and hardens the interior. 

Balance is beauty. 

Religion

Story time.

I was raised in a religious home. Being homeschooled for a significant time most of my friends and social outings were from the church. It was a wonderful environment that fundamentally fostered a commitment to loving one another and to deal with each other through compassion. I attribute religion's reinforcing nature for the retention of my best qualities through adolescent's transforming times. Though today I don't identify with any religion. Not to say I fully disagree with it nor have any negativity with anyone who does. Period. In fact I believe when practiced best, religion can still be a powerfully harmonious and collaborative agent in society. Something society desperately needs. I will say however religion has an inherent limit, though depending on the congregation the limit can be reduced. The limit is as limiting as the congregation's inability to recognize all peoples outside its beliefs are the same as those within. It's an interesting phenomenon when religion accepts all who wish to join, but believe(though may never explicitly state but is nonetheless there) that all who believe otherwise are separate and or wrong. To the extent this limit recedes, the congregation abides closer to the ethos of the religion which was inspired by the teacher in the first place. However once fully erased, so will the necessity for a specific label of practice or particular community. And here is where we arrive at the statements in this photo. There isn't any real separation. There is only love.

P.S. I appreciate the communal value of sharing similar spiritual practices and all the cycles of learning and teaching that thrives within religion. Perhaps this was the original purpose of religion: Sharing in similarities. Not judging differences, whether explicitly or in our hearts.    

Emotion Control = Evolution of Man

Having control of our emotions takes practice like everything else. The more we practice the better we get. How I practice is by letting go of all my concerns, trusting Life will always direct me to things better than my present understanding of what I think I want. Here detachment occurs and I am liberated from fear. With fear absent an abundance of mental energy is freed up. I use this energy to constantly pay attention to how I feel throughout the day. When I'm feeling light, content, happy, anything positive, I know I'm improving. 

When I feel tension, concern, anything negative start to creep in (this is where the practice comes to play) I direct my thoughts to anything that feels better than what I'm currently thinking. And I mean anything. It doesn't have to be related and most of the time it isn't. If you believe that Life Delivers To You Whatever You Consistently Focus On, and accept the truism that Everything We Want, We Want Because We Think We Will FEEL Better In The Having Of It, then the only reasonable course of action is to focus on things that Feel good. 

So by redirecting my focus from something that doesn't feel good to something that does, I am now controlling the direction of my emotions. If I already feel good but want to feel great, enthusiastic, and inspired then I will gradually shift my attention from my starting point of feeling good to something that feels closer to my end point. I'll keep thinking thoughts that are in the direction of my end point until I achieve an emotional(sometimes even bodily) response. There I know I've increased my level of emotion and can then think thoughts that are closer still to my end point. Within moments to minutes I am feeling inspired and passionate. With practice this becomes easier to do with less focus.

Two important notes:

1. When I realize I'm feeling less than I'd like to and so begin shifting my attention, I don't reach for the best of the best thought but instead a thought that FEELS better relative to what I'm already thinking. Intuitively it makes sense to want to feel great if you feel bad. But our minds usually don't suddenly change from not so good to outstanding. We need a gradual shift. Almost like coaxing our minds bit by bit to better feelings. Tame that beast! With gentleness. 

2. To get to a place of detachment, it can be difficult if our untamed minds are over active with concerns and jumping from one thought to another uncontrollably (which was the case for me when I started this work). The quickest and easiest way to get a handle on our minds is by getting into a comfy position in a quiet place, sit still, close our eyes, breathe naturally, and keep redirecting our attention to our breath or simply stated, meditating. The more we do this the quieter and controllable our minds become. Once we have a handle of quieting our mind, directing thoughts become a thousand times easier. 

Summary: 

To control our emotions we let go of concerns, trust in Life, pay attention to how we feel, all day focus on things that feel good and when we catch our minds drifting to negativity redirect our thoughts to better feeling ones(gradual shifts), repeat at every opportunity. 

If directing thoughts is difficult, learn to quiet the mind. Quieting our minds is easiest through meditating. Google meditation for techniques that work for you! 

If you're wondering why put in all the effort to control our emotions answer this: Why do I want to do, be, and have all the things I desire? If you can get to the bottom most reason as to why then you'll understand.  

Happiness = controlled thoughts

“You must learn to let go of your fears and insecurities, and instead let your emotions remain within your control, rather than dictating your actions or reactions”*

I can control my emotions by controlling my thoughts. 

Emotions = thoughts + feelings**

*Excerpt From: Entourage, Secret. “Third Circle Theory: Purpose Through Observation.” 

**Independent. Remains constant. We will always feel for things and circumstances. Cannot cut feeling from life: unhealthy, inhuman. 

Intentional Association is a Key to Happiness

We are beginning to develop a sense(not just an understanding) that the reality of our emotions are not based, fed, or sourced from our experience. 

Our happiness and our sorrow are not caused by successes and failures. 

These experiences virtually have no influence on our emotions except for the feelings we've allowed(however unaware) ourselves to habitually associate them with over the years. 

It's not what happens to us that shapes our feelings.

It's how we choose to shape our feelings to what happens to us.

This determines our emotions, and then our attitudes(which are habitual emotions), our character(habitual attitudes), and ultimately our Life(summation of our character and our behavior).  

Implied method:

Change how we associate feelings to experience = change our lives

Change is Ecstasy (personal formulas that help me facilitate transformation)

Change-verb. defined by me as:

to step into a different reality and leave the less useful one behind. 

Dictionary-

Change: 

1. to transform or convert.

Transform: 

1.  to change in form, appearance, or   

     structure; metamorphose. 

2. to change in condition, nature, or character; convert. 
3. to change into another substance; transmute.

How to create change?

One way is to look at your life from an outside or macroscopic view. To step back and take into consideration everything you notice - both pleasurable and not. 

Then ask yourself: 

What does my life feel like to me?

What are my main concerns?

What are my main appreciations. 

What would I like to Change?

What would I like to keep the same?

If there are things you'd like to change,

Ask yourself, "Is my life reflecting my desires for change?" 

If you took the time to earnestly ask yourself this question you may be surprised at the answer. But don't feel bad! Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, does it. 

It's one of the great mysteries of humanity. We've always done it. From thousands of years ago,

"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate."

Romans 7:15 ESV

up until this morning when I wanted to write as soon as I woke but "forgot" and made breakfast instead. 

This tendency to avoid what we want to do for ourselves is the greatest source of angst within us. And at the same time, if we overcome it, is the ultimate source for personal growth which manifests in our life experience as Confidence, Integrity, and Inner Peace. 

In my reflections I wonder at this joy-giving, anxiety-producing phenomena. A double edged sword. One side slices through indifference and reveals the power and light of our being. The other side cutting off our connection to joy and breeds emotional scabs that block our light from shining. 

The beauty of life is you don't need to search for help: you're help is already in your hands. 

Turn the blade over and begin doing what you Want. Change yourself from the Inside out. Transform. 

We are all in this world to raise the lives of others through our own transformation. I've been fortunate to have time on my side when I needed to "search" for answers. I've received so much help from people who've already traveled this part of Life's path and took time from their lives and family to share with others what helped them. Through books, talks, music, interaction, and art I was provided guidance. Guidance but not answers. For all that I learned was redirections into myself. Where the answers already lay. 

My gratitude can only be expressed through the continuation of empowering others. So here are the answers I've found within myself. If they do nothing except point your focus back into yourself then my efforts are rewarded. 

In life there are 3 formulas we can all follow. These formulas have been around even before man. But with Life and all Its humor, we are not tattooed with the formulas upon birth and instead are encouraged to go on a human adventure to discover these special formulas and apply the one that works for us. 

Formula 1: 

(Life is good) x (no changes) = 

Keep doing what you're doing

Formula 2:

(Life is not good) x (create changes) = Keep applying changes for good life

Formula 3:

(Life is not good) x (no changes) = 

Keep getting what you're getting 

All common sense. But the incredible things is that it's too common — too simple. 

Now there are books upon seminars upon workshops that teach the ins and outs of change. Though extremely informative and useful to become a master at the subject, the best course is always to begin with the basic fundamentals and work from there.

I believe the reason many of us don't begin with the basics is because it's so basic that we assume we're already doing it. Let's not make that mistake. 

Let's look into ourselves with honesty and pull out from our depths what we truly want. Then align our beliefs to those wants. Our behavior will follow.  

"It's never too late to be who you might have been."

George Eliot 

Take a chance on People

take a chance on people

friends and strangers

treat them as if you already accept everything about them 

and watch how they transform before your very eyes 

rewarding you with their smiles and humanity

-B.C.

When two people engage, majority of the time both are wondering if they are making good impressions.

This distracting concern will only pull you further away from connection and fellowship. 

Instead look into their eyes with a smile that spreads from your lips to your heart. Simply listen to them. See every word as it floats into the space between you two. In this way you can not miss the precious present moment which is the Only Real Thing you can share with someone else. 

Remember : 

People don't converse to listen, they converse to be listened to. Try listening twice as long as you speak and you will not only get to know the other person deeper, but will learn more about yourself; which, according to the wisest men in history, is the most valuable thing one can Pursue in life. 

Wonderful Insomnia

You know you're doing something right when your sleepless nights are a result of happy, creative, exciting thoughts. 

Tamara

I'm here, outside my apartment. 

Smoking a cigarette with post classical in my ears. 

It's a cool and damp evening. 

I reminisce of the day's events. 

The time I shared with my sister. 

Showing her the city and its little wonders. 

I'm thankful I get to bring her up here. 

If I can accomplish anything on her trip it'd be to show her that the world is overflowed with opportunities to be happy. 

That in every ordinary moment, bliss is there waiting to be felt. 

That in every challenge and disappointment, peace and wisdom are free for the taking. 

That all that is needed to experience these treasures of life is to look for them. 

To turn your attention to them. 

Then immediately you will have them. 

There is no pursuit. 

There is no search. 

Just turn to it and you will have it. 

That with knowing this, every possible outcome of living your dream, both happy and not, is the actual essence of your dream. 

The journey. 

The everyday moments of life directed toward your dream is the dream.

The final accomplishment of it is only one moment of the thousands it is comprised of. 

Live in these eternal flow of present moments and you will live a life of wonder. 

Of beauty. 

Bliss. 

Now = Freedom, Truth & Life more abundant

Live right here in the now. 

Pull your consciousness, awareness, and attention to the now. The present now. 

Fear, doubt, and anxiety don't live in the present. Only in the future. 

They are untrue and distorted thoughts that are concerned with the future. 

Fear of if he will think I'm dumb. 

Doubt of if she will like me. 

Anxiety of if they are judging me. 

All of these thoughts are concerned about the future. They have nothing to do with the present except to control and restrict your behavior, robbing you of being yourself. 

Stay in the right now. There is no next minute or next hour. 

Just now. 

There is no tomorrow or next week. 

Solely now. 

There is no next month or next year. Only now. 

Every moment should be experienced in the present. 

Only when we voluntarily focus on the future to set a plan should we allow attention to be drawn away from right now. It should never involuntarily drift off to the future or even the past unless we deliberately choose to shift our attention for the purpose of reflection. 

There is no consequence for allowing our attention to drift except that we become at the mercy of our emotions to life's circumstances.  

If we have drifted, then when a distorted thought of the future presents itself to your mind, you will experience the negative emotions of fear, doubt, and anxiety. Which can worsen and magnify if you cannot bring your mind back in the present. 

If you however, stay in the preset, when a future thought presents itself, you will let it pass by undisturbed. For you know the truth of the circumstance which the thought addressed. 

Truth lives in the now. 

Attitude toward Facts = Reality

Facts may shape the world, but it's my attitude toward the facts that shape my reality.

Caress

Her before sleep caresses send ripples of affection throughout my body. Like a still motionless ocean my skin is interrupted with her touch. Five gentle dips of her fingers and the small waves resonate all over me bouncing off one another creating peaks of pleasure. As the gentle waves travel further they grow more subtle and less noticeable though never ceasing, like an infinite value ever decreasing but never approaching zero. Immortal they perpetually vibrate with the smallest frequency. Eternally they linger, seeping into my bones, then my cells, and finally into my soul. Where my strength rests like a giant in slumber. Sleeping peacefully unaware that It's power is needed. Until It's chamber of solitude is disturbed by the sweet clamoring of my love's affections. 

Personal journal entry; for public use.

I don't know what to do. Do I build my wisdom and have faith for better things to come? Or do I plan an ambitious and passionate path and go into that headstrong without any hesitation? Or do I do both? Is it that I have all components to my Self-expression and success and now all I must do is assemble them together into the final product; the actualization of my unlived life?

I've learned so much. So much about living in the moment and having faith in the greater power within me. That it's not about hard work but believing and expecting great things to happen. 

Then I'll have a reality check of a conversation with an older friend of mine. Who has made success and has a plethora of street smarts. He says now is the time to give it all I have. To hustle and bustle and do everything I need to do in order to achieve and obtain what I'm pursuing. That I need to step into my confidence and Know within me that I am "all of that" and more. 

To "take life by the balls" and never settle for less. To ignore distractions and never alter myself for anyone. That I have all I need now. To conspire and strategize for my success. Be Bold and don't let anyone tell you you're not enough. 

I feel conflicted. It "seems" that I am hearing two different directions. 

From my readings I gather that I must be present in the moment and visualize and believe for things to get better.

From my friends who've accomplished much I gather that I must "take life by the balls". 

Is it really both?

I truly desire the inner peace of knowing that my Father has everything taken care of and that all I need to do is walk forward and trust in His promises. 

I also deeply desire to rise up in my personality. To be bold and confident. To know what I want and to seize it. To give myself to life. Wholeheartedly with love and fire. 

I don't want to be just a nice person. I don't want to be cute and sweet. I want to be a MAN!!! I want to speak with weight in my words and passion in my eyes. With fire in my chest and love in my heart. I want to own my world, because I know the Father gave it to us for our enjoyment and to reach others who are down. 

I don't know why but I think that I have to choose one way or the other. That I'm at a fork in the road. Where I can choose to take one of two paths. One being the road of inner peace and faith. 

The other being inner desire and passion and outward expression. 

I reread the above paragraph and I begin to think that there is no fork in the road. That there isn't two paths. That there is only one. One path. That this path is the convergence of my two hypothetical paths. That I am  stalled in the middle of my path by a mirage of a fork in the road. There is no fork! As I observe closer it begins to dissipate. I am on my road. I am on my path. Everything I've been reading and learning and everything I've been hearing and experiencing are all connected. They are all the sum of one part. They are all the road signs I've learned to decipher. As I became more aware of myself and my world through readings and meditation I have picked up understanding of these signs. I've collected a manual of different signs but did not know for what the manual was to. 

I categorized the different signs into two groups but now I see that they are all of the same manual to the same path. 

How did I get so confused? So turned around? Where did this "fork in the road" come from? How did I not notice I was seeing a mirage directly before me? What comes to my mind is something Steven Pressfield describes in his book "The War of Art" as "Resistance." Resistance being that force within all of us moving toward self destruction. That this force is insidious and extremely cunning. That it will use the best of you to beat you down. That we must be vigilant and aware of this force and work through it. The more we fight Resistance the weaker the hold it has on us. Though we can never cease to work against it because that is when it will overcome us. It will lie and wait until you believe it has left you and then without you knowing it, it will have slowly crept back in your life. It will be dictating your actions behind the scenes all because you've become complacent and satisfied with where you were at. Thus robbing you and the world, who are in wait of your greatness, of expressing your Self to your maximum potential. 

A lesson learned. A life lived better. 

This was a personal journal entry, in attempt for clarity. Though, after reading through it I feel I must share this. I know that I am not the only one battling faith and logic, inner peace and passion, confusion and disorientation. I write because I enjoy the clarity it brings me. If you've read all the way through this, I hope you see the effectiveness that writing your thoughts can have on clearing your thinking and sharpening your resolve. Writer or not it is an ancient practice that benefits all who try it. 

With love. 

Ceilings: a balloons' unhappiness

I am happy. I have found happiness and it seems to have found me. But I feel as if I've hit a ceiling in my happiness. That this is as good as it's going to get at this point. Repeatedly I rise to my highest level of happiness and then I dip down to a slightly lower one. Like a balloon bouncing off a ceiling......I need to look to build the happiness of others if I am ever going to feel more.